Day 16 - How To Deal With Toxic People

by - 10:32 PM


Sometimes, you just meet the wrong people. Yet, you have no idea why you cannot escape from them. You are just attached to them - like if you needed them in your life. They create something around them that makes you think you are nothing or worthless without them. They destroy your self-confidence, your passion and takes away from you without you noticing it. They isolate you from all your other friends and suddenly, you become dependent to them for no reason.

I know how it feels. I have been there. Your path doesn't always cross the ones of amazing, incredible and loyal friends. Sometimes you just met shitty people and they are stuck with you. First, you think they are cool, they would do almost anything for you to love them and create an illusion of a healthy relationship. And then, they would talk behind your back to your own (best) friends, they would make you feel useless and idiots when something goes wrong - because, you know, it will always be your fault. They will always make you feel you owe them something, that you have to give them attention more than 100% of your time. And if not, they would "make you pay" for this. One common point to all these people: they never question themselves. Ever.

You start to realize that they don't want the best for you. That they won't stand by you or for you. That maybe you are just a meaning to some end or most of the time, a convenience. You discover that they envy all you got - even your personality or abilities (huh) and that is exactly why they want you tied up to them and that they will do their best to make you feel down. Sometimes, they don't even realise it but they are toxic and they build toxic relationships with people around them.

Often, you notice soon in the relationship when it's going to be toxic: they want you to always talk to them, they only talk about them, and if you are doing something with somebody else, they will question it and make you feel like you have abandoned them and jealousy kicked in.

The best you can do is to detach yourself from them the sooner you can after you realized it. Take an argument as an excuse to say goodbye (and we know that with these people, arguments are a daily basis). Speak for yourself and accept no shit from them. Surround yourself with other people or your true friends to support you in this, ask them advices or help.  Maybe it will hurt at the start, but you will realise you are free to do anything you want and that you do not owe anybody anything. You will value yourself much more.

Remember that a healthy relationship is based on trust, loyalty and respect. You share things with your friends or significant others, you might not always agree with them but they will always respect your opinion and you will respect them. You would stand for them as they would stand for you. Your conversions are meaningful and you can talk about you, them or random things - never always about them. They know your worth, they value it, they know your strengths and your weaknesses but will never take advantage of it.

If you are dealing with a toxic person, reach someone from your entourage that you trust and explain them the situation. If you want to talk about that it more details with me and my "experience" with it, you can comment down below and I'd be happy to help you.

One last word:

Know your worth. Then, add tax.




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